13.12.2020It was like I went into a subspace when Sir comforted me last night, but I’m not sure if that was what I felt. It happened in this one quick second. One moment I was crying my heart out, the next moment I was so ready to serve my Sir. I trusted him when he said it was going to be okay. I wholeheartedly trusted him when he told me that he is still here with me. I should be scared but instead, those words managed to calm me down, and I flipped my switch to change from being sad to a sub at that instant. Thats how great the effect Sir has on me – thats how much I trust him now.Sir then asked me to edge. He lifted off that ban on no touch and spoiled me. Being needy and clingy, I begged him for an orgasm. I usually begged Sir for ruins. Or to stop at that very edge so that I wouldn’t tip over. But not this time. I truly needed that relief. I wanted that orgasm so bad. I was so close too. I could have orgasmed without needing his permission, and I have no idea if it was Cal’s curse or the need to be his good girl but either way, I couldn’t get that orgasm all on my own.I was so so so so close, yet I couldn’t cum. Do you know how frustrating that is? I truly hated my body at that moment, for listening to Sir’s command way too much. I begged him over and over again. But then, a small part of me didn’t want that. A small part of me wanted this denial to stay longer. I didn’t want to start all over again. I didn’t want to stop edging. For him. For me. So I told him that I didn’t know what I want.Sir decided that for me. He told me keep going. Keep going. Keep going. And god. I did it. I came. And with his permission too. I got the relief I wanted. It felt good to the point where I was still shaking even after I came. Legs spread, blanket set apart, one hand in between my thighs, and the other was on my phone. It truly was so satisfying….And then it stopped being satisfying.Sir said this once to me before,“You know how we’ll know if you have truly broken?”Me: No sir, please tell me.Sir: If you feel immense guilt after cumming.And lord, I felt that. After the satisfaction of orgasm, I felt the guilt. I wanted to start edging again. I wanted to be used anally. I wanted to follow his every single command. I wanted to be good again. I wanted to feel constantly horny and wet and needy and being his slut all over again. Edging truly feels better than cumming and I know that now.Sir said that I’ve completed my basic denial slut transformation. I can be such a slut, I admit that. I did sexting with a lot of people before anyway, but I was never a denial slut.So hai…. I’m Maruka, and I am a denial slut. Nice to meet you all.14.12.2020After having a delightful inner fight within myself last night, I was back on no touch this morning. He woke me up, and had only said one fucking sentence, and that already made my cunt throbbed…which leads me to this next question. Is it like that for everyone else too? A single dirty message from your dom, and you’d get all excited and your cunt just…reacts to him? Because that’s what he does to me. A good morning from him makes me smile. Then he’d get down and dirty, and my body (& cunt) turn all needy. Heck, I’d be getting all whiny too.Sir then asked me to lay down on the floor. Ass up, face down. Ha, guess who felt truly dirty at that time? The first thing I did after waking up was to act like a whore in heat. It was a very embarrassing position for me, an act of submission if you’d like to call it, and that just proves of how committed I am to my Sir.I was so eager to edge, then he said I could only do that by fingering my ass. I wanted to pout, wanted to backtalk, but hey, I managed to hold it in this time! Training my ass is good, but it doesn’t mean I’m able to edge from that all out of the sudden. We’ll get there, he said. Suuuuuure Sir, very sure :pHe was away for a while, and I was left all on my own. My morning usually starts by edging, and now that I can’t reach an edge (mostly because I am still training my ass), it feels…weird. And exasperating. Sometimes Sir gets a little bit busy, so at those times, I’m okay. I can set my needs aside for a moment, and try to focus on my work. Then my phone would vibrate. “I’m back.”The throbbing on my cunt was back too. I could feel it getting wetter. I was scared I would stain my skirt this morning too. Once Sir was asleep, my mind was a mess. I would be busy with work, forgetting the ache in my cunt, then out of nowhere, it would appear. I had to stop doing my work, had to rub my thighs a bit, took a deep breath and back to concentrating.That happened for several times. That happens every time I’m on no touch, but today was the worst. After experiencing an orgasm, my body wanted that back. It ached. It got needy. And I swear, for the whole evening, I was dying to touch it. I wanted to hump my office again. Or at least grinded down on it, but whenever I was doing that, I stopped at that instant too.Because my order, before Sir went to bed, was to be on no touch. No grinding. No humping. Not even touching my nipples. He took all those privileges away, and my body understood that so well. My cunt knows who it belongs to.And honestly?I know who I belong to as well 🙂 female orgasm denial Get your own Orgasm Control toys: For men: http://www.amzn.to/1V6XQvv For women: https://ift.tt/1UWn54n